Issue 5, February 2002
In this issue:
Letter from the UK by Kate Walker
Breaking and Entering by Shannon Stacey
Healthy Writing Habits by Dreamen
The Golden Noodle Awards
Buzz on Books
Happenings
Upcoming Contests
A Little Test by Deborah Martin
Letter from the UK
Hello Everyone,
I know that lots of you visit the Teahouse and so get to know most of what I'm up to. But I also know that some of you take one look inside there and run - very sensible! But that means you don't get to keep up with everything that's going on at the UK and Mills & Boon end of things. Plus, there are quite a few Beez who are from this side of the pond and might want to know what's happening. So I thought I'd start a letter from the UK for The Buzz.
Where do I start? Well, there's the Castle for one. I know Teahousers know all about this - I went off to Nottingham Castle for Valentine's Day and did a talk on 'My Life As a Romance Writer' - braving the perils of posh venues, microphones, a 70+ audience and the need to be bodacious. But I also had a smaller event during the afternoon - I went to a library in Dronfield, Derbyshire, and talked to readers. This is the sort of thing I love. I get to meet people who really read the books and who are truly interested in finding out how I got started, how I write, and what goes into this weird job I have of writing books. It wasn't the largest audience - about 15 people altogether (I had to contend with the fact that it was market day!) but it was so friendly and everyone was interested. And the library provided coffee and chocolate truffles as refreshments! What more could I ask?
But perhaps the very best moment of the day was at the end of the afternoon, when I'd just arrived in Nottingham. Whenever I'm in a new town, if I have a book out that month, I go and look on the shelves and see how my title is doing and compare it with everyone else. This time, I got to the M&B shelves just at the same time as 2 young women who were obviously going to choose a book. So I stood back and watched - and to my absolute delight, they bought the last two copies of Desert Affair! I could have hugged them. So I went up to them and thanked them for buying the book. I had some copies of my bookmarks with me to prove who I was and I gave them each one and signed their books for them. But the interesting thing I discovered was that they were both students from the local university and they'd been told to read a M&B book as part of their course. I never got to study Romance when I was at uni - I think it's a good sign. Hopefully people will now start to see what romances are really like, that they're not all the same and that they are much better written than they're given credit for. And about time too!
What else? Well I've been cramming in as much reading as I can before I get down to writing the next book. I try not to read other romance writers' book when I'm working on my own, I'm always afraid of copying someone without meaning to. And once I was halfway through my new story and started reading a favourite author and found it was almost the same! Panic! But As I'm still at the thinking things out stage, I've been able to read for pleasure. I've really enjoyed Anne McAllister's Silhouette book A Cowboy's Promise. And that's not just because Anne is a very dear friend of mine. I loved her Cowboy books even before I met her and now I enjoy them even more because I can hear her voice in them. Those of you who have 'met' Sid my cat might like know about his starring role in her single title The Great Montana Cowboy Auction. He appears in this book as Sid the heroine's cat - and he's already getting fan mail about it! Anne tells me that he has a walk on part in her next book too - and a Sid 'clone' named Willoughby is also based on him. But he's already bigheaded enough so I'm not telling him that.
The other book I've been reading is an interesting one for Gonnabeez, I think. It's not a Harlequin, but it is a book that was entered for the English Romantic Novelists' Association New Writers' Scheme a couple of years ago. It's called The Wrong Sort of Girl by Valerie- Anne Baglietto. I'm enjoying it, though it's lighter and less intense than I usually like my romances. But the point about this book is that it was entered for the New Writers' Scheme and picked out by the reader and recommended to be taken further. It went on to win the New Writers' Award and now it's on the shelves in the bookshops. So it can happen! And any Gonnabeez in the UK, can I just repeat that this is why I think the RNA scheme is a good one. You have to pay a steepish membership fee, but if you do write a book and send it in you get a professional critique of your work. Next on my reading list is Patricia McLinn's Lost and Found Groom - and then I have the brand new Michelle Reid. After that, I expect I'll be working too hard to read anything.
In the UK, February is known as 'February Fill-Dyke' (a dyke is a ditch - not anything else you might be thinking of!) and at the moment it's living up to its reputation. We have had a few days of sunshine when it was freezing cold but the last week had been rain and more rain. And Lincolnshire where I live is very flat so there have been flood warnings out. Luckily I live at the top of the one hill in the area so my house is safe - much to the cats' relief. At least it's not ice and fog. There are early signs of spring. All the crocuses and daffodils I planted when we first moved here are now maturing and springing up everywhere and there are primroses and winter-flowering pansies coming into bloom too. The multicoloured sorts of primroses (polyanthus) are some of my favourite flowers. I love to see their bright colours - red, yellow, blue, purple - in the middle of the dreary dark days, like a promise of better times to come.
It's coming to the end of February, so there will soon be the new titles out of the shelves. It's been a great month for me, with HIS MIRACLE BABY appearing on the Waldenbooks Top Ten Romances list for two weeks , and DESERT AFFAIR coming into the top 100 sellers of all books in the UK. I was on that list with Miranda Lee, Jane Porter and Catherine Spencer, so Mills & Boon Modern - the UK equivalent of Harlequin Presents - were well represented. I have my fingers crossed that my next UK book (Society Weddings) will do as well. This one is a bit different - it's a 2 in 1 book with another Presents author Sharon Kendrick, but it's the one the Teahousers will recognise as having 'El Tweako' the Spanish hero in it. I'm hoping it will be out in America in August. I'd just like to thank each and every one of you who bought a copy of either book for contributing to making them both such a wonderful success. I am so happy to see my books doing so well and I know that it couldn't happen without you, my readers. So everyone who bought a copy - have a thank you hug from me.
Well, I think I'd better bring this to a close. I don't want to ramble on too long. I hope you've enjoyed a little insight into life on this 'side of the pond' - it's where they breed the crazies like Annaofwhatever and myself. If you have any questions that you'd like to ask, please let me know, and if can answer them I will, and if you'll have me back again I'll hope to make this a regular part of The Buzz.
Love,
Kate
PS don't forget there will be a draw to win a signed book when Society Weddings is published. Anyone who is signed up for my mailing list gets their name put into the draw. If you'd like to join in check out http://www.kate-walker.com and send me an email to join the list. Then your name will go into every draw.
Breaking & Entering
How do you get into a character’s head? For me, trying to answer that question is as tough as pondering the meaning of life. There are many excellent tools to help writers with this task, character sheets being one. I love them — my characters hate them. I ask my heroine — let’s call her Jenny — for the defining moment of her childhood and I’m lucky if I get her name, rank and serial number.
So what’s a writer to do? I just wait until Jenny’s guard is down and sneak into her house. You can tell a lot about a person by exploring his or her home. Maybe that perfect mom you always envy at the playground has 1983 written on the dust of her TV screen and her kids had Kool-Aid for lunch. Or maybe you meet a guy you’re sure is Mr. Right, until one peek in his medicine cabinet makes you reconsider parking your shoes under his bed.
The key to this exercise is not to overthink it. Just grab a pen and a notebook and let your subconscious provide the details. I usually fill about two pages for every room, but I’ll give an extremely abbreviated example.
Jenny and Tom meet and the sparks fly — instant attraction. So what’s the problem? Sure, she’s had her heart broken before, but who hasn’t? And makes him keep her at arm’s length? Being afraid of commitment isn’t enough. We want to know WHY. So let’s start with Jenny. We’ll jimmy the lock on her two-bedroom cape and see what we find.
LIVING ROOM: Average couch- navy. Plain wooden coffee table and rocking chair. Throw pillows embroidered with cats. Fireplace that doesn’t look used- collection of ceramic cats on mantel. Home Interiors prints hanging on one wall. Small TV and VCR- videotapes are mostly romantic comedies and epic love stories. Several framed photos of Jenny with older woman who looks to be her mother. Books- mostly legal thrillers.
KITCHEN: Small dinette set, mismatched yard sale dishes, Garfield coffee mug on counter, cat salt & pepper shakers. In the fridge- all the veggies to make salads, fat-free dressing, Chinese take-out cartons. In the freezer- two pints of Cherry Garcia ice cream. Basket of bills on table, all paid.
BEDROOM: stuffed cats on bed, clothes and books strewn about. Top drawer has the basic white cotton underwear and bras. Not a thong in sight. Dresser top covered in books, makeup, and cat collectibles.
BATHROOM: just the basics, one toothbrush, no secrets lurking in the medicine cabinet.
SECOND BEDROOM: converted to office, computer room.
Okay, that was the express tour, but what do we know? For one thing, she loves cats, but doesn’t own one — no cat and no litterbox. Is she allergic?
That’s probably irrelevant, and even if Tom has a cat, that’s not enough conflict to last more than a paragraph or two. Until her head finally hits HIS pillow and her eyes swell up and itch, and her nose starts running. It could add a dash of comedy, or an ongoing source of minor conflict. She watches her weight, isn’t rich, but is responsible, and doesn’t have a man in her life if the stuffed animals on her bed are any sign.
The big question is — where’s her Dad? Lots of pictures of her mom, but no father in sight. If he had died, she would probably have some pictures of him, but we didn’t see any. Did he abandon her mother? Did he abuse her? Maybe we’ve found the reason for her unwillingness to trust Tom with her heart.
Now Tom lives in a small condo on the lake, telling us right off he’s not rich, but he’s pretty well off.
HIS LIVING ROOM: Leather furniture and state-of-the-art entertainment system. Black-and-white landscape photos fill the walls. No personal pictures in sight. Two vases of dead flowers on the dusty glass endtables. The white carpet needs vacuuming.
THE KITCHEN: Cabinets full of expensive china, and counter piled with used paper plates. In the fridge- fully stocked, everything expired except the milk. In the freezer- stuffed full of frozen entrees.
THE DINING ROOM: The long, cherry table is covered with unopened mail and a mix of paid and unpaid bills.
THE BATHROOM: Color-coordinated, a guest towel becoming faded from the sun where it folds over the bar, dusty guest soaps. One toothbrush in a large, fancy holder. A magazine rack full of decorating magazines.
THE BEDROOM: It looks a hurricane hit it. Clothes are draped over everything, and it hard to tell what’s clean or dirty. Two empty glasses sit on the nightstand table next a picture frame faced down. Well, my big question — where did his wife go? It’s obvious he had one. Did they divorce or did she die? Did she just disappear? Why is the picture turned face down? She hasn’t been gone long. Just long enough for the food to go bad, the flowers to die, the mail to pile up, and the dust to settle.
So Jenny has issues stemming from her father, and we’re surprised to find that Tom has--or had--a wife.
Sometimes it helps, and sometimes it doesn’t, but I always feel I know my
characters a little better after snooping through their homes. So when your
heroine won’t talk to you, or your hero’s being mysterious, just rummage in
their drawers and peek under their beds. It just might help.
Healthy Writing Habits:
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure
I initially got the idea for this article after a visit from my chiropractor. He was a little concerned about the time I’d been spending at the computer. He was seeing some changes in my posture and overall back health as a result. So, he provided me with some information that I decided to share with all of you.
We all have days where we spend hours at the computer. Working madly, trying to work on the old WIP, or just goofing around. The trouble is, sometimes we get up from the computer feeling a bit sore, backs aching, wrists stiff, eyes bugging out, maybe even a slight headache. By learning some simple exercises and taking the time to take care of ourselves, we can alleviate a lot of the strain on our bodies.
The most important thing to remember is to take frequent breaks. Do not maintain any one position for extended periods of time. This causes strain on all of your muscles. Instead, take a break, get up, stretch, then go back to work. Frequent shaking or rubbing of the hands and wrists provides rest and improves circulation. It is also important to rest your eyes on a regular basis. The computer screen is tough on the eyes and can cause vision problems as well as headaches.
Another thing many people frequently forget to do is drink water. This is especially important when writing, because a dehydrated person does not think as well or as clearly as someone who is well hydrated. Nothing is as good as water. If you have to have your diet coke or whatever form of caffeine you need to exist, alternate the coke with water. Your body and mind will appreciate it.
But I don’t have any problems, why should I worry about this? It’s a common question, asked by many people who spend time on the computer. However, most people don’t realize there is a problem until they need medical treatment for conditions such as carpal tunnel syndrome, tendonitis, vibration syndrome, and other repetitive strain injuries. The fact is, a lot of these conditions begin gradually, starting out as a minor ache or pain, eventually becoming a medical concern. Frequent visits to the doctor or chiropractor can get expensive, particularly as some of these conditions deteriorate.
The good news is, all of these conditions can be prevented. So, let’s take
those breaks, do a couple of simple stretches, and keep our bodies in shape
so we can write to our hearts’ content.
If you missed the Golden Noodle awards in eHarlequin last Friday, you missed a great show! Several of our beez received these awards, chosen by the board members.
Here's the list of winners:
The first official DeAnna Award:
Deanna--in honor of bearing the FIRST Community Baby!
Best Male Role:
James Van Meter Esq., Reading Groups, 50 days/ Alternate Realities, nominated by Vampiress Beth!
Most Welcoming Poster:
Chelle - Reading Groups/Girl Talk threads
Most Helpful Poster:
Lisa M, Reading Groups
Weirdest Labor Story:
The Other Julie - Reading Groups 50 days Thread
post #542
Most Creative Speller award:
Vi, Reader to Reader!!
Funniest Personal Story:
TRAPPED IN TORONTO, the eHQ Hosts!!
Funniest Post:
"How to Vomit"--WR, Teahouse #939, Anna of Cumberland
Funniest Overall poster:
Anna of Cumberland
The Waxy Award:
Waxing Sarcastica, in honor of being consistently thoughtful and diplomatic.
Most Meaningful Thread:
Chelle, Happily Married
Favorite Thread:
Chelle, Happily Married
The Most Contraversial Online Read:
50 Days, by Stephanie Bond
Warmest Personal Story Award:
Allison, Happily Married
Thread That Made You Come Back for More:
50 Days To Choose Your Husband
Poster Who Causes The Most Trouble:
Chelle
Most Verbose:
Ola
Person Whose Post You Look Forward to Most:
THIS!Christine
Best "Singer":
Cyn, WR, Expand & Enrich Your Vocab #1166, "This is the Song That Never Ends"
Most Creative Story:
Chelle - Jane In Paris - Reading Groups 50 days/Alternate Realities
Author Awards:
Kate Walker--Most Fearless Knicker Twister
Cathie Linz--Author with the Most Cats Per Sq Inch
Julie Miller--Most Suspenseful
Holly Jacobs--Most Interesting Car
Patricia McLinn--Most Dangerous Author
Christine Rimmer--Author Who's Cover is Our Reason For Living
Karen Templeton--Most Generous with her Time
Melissa Senate--Most Fearless in the Face of Adversity
Deborah Hale--Most Upbeat and Helpful
Lori Foster--Hottest Read
Toni Blake--Most Envied Closet
Alexandra Sellers--Sheikhiest Author
Tina Leonard--Author Who Makes Her Readers Suffer the Most
For Heather, our Reader to Reader and Book Talk host:
She is our guru of eHarlequin.com boards. Ultra-smart, always willing to share her knowledge or lend a helping hand. She is the host that is always supportive in a crisis, ready to rush in and give information with any little glitch a poster may have, Heather is our girl. She diligently works to keep us up to date with the happenings in the outside world because she knows that there are some of us (you know who you are), who never leave the boards.
Thank You for your tireless efforts on our behalf.
For K-2, the Girl Talk and Hollywood Confidential host:
Anyone who has been to either of these boards will know one of two things: she is one of the most patient, supportive, and loving hosts that you could ever wish to find, and-- she has a bit of a, shall we say, wicked streak?
Thank you, K2. You're the best!
For Dee, our fearless leader in Reading Groups and Writing Romance:
We can't say enough about Dee. Dee who gives us a place to stretch our creative wings. Dee, who never fails to touch us in some way, even if it is a lashing with the wet noodle. Dee who's style and grace (not counting that Toronto incident) leave everyone who comes into contact with her feeling just that bit more important.
And so to Dee--our Dee--we say thank you.
For Rae, the host of that oh-so-secret society, RDI--that's Red Dress Inc. for those not in the know:
She is always cheerful and supportive--well, unless she's trying to quit smoking, lol. As leader of Writing Romance's Gonnabeez, Rae has given endlessly of herself and her resources to encourage, teach and support authors, pubbed and not. So many of our members would be lost without you and all you have done for them.
To Rae, the Chic-Lit hostess with mostess, Thank you
And Last, but only because that's where we always place the best, we want to thank Jayne:
Jayne is The Woman behind the scenes, taking care of our community and keeping us up and running, day after day. We may not see you everyday, but we know you're there if we need you, doing what has to be done so that we can see our friends everyday, having these boards not just as a place to learn or read, but making this site a family that is as important in our everyday lives as the family we live with.
To Jayne, The All-Seeing, All-knowing, All-Loved, Thank you!
Psst... March 5 will be Heather's and K2's 1st anniversary as board hosts!
Buzz on Books
His Miracle Baby
Kate Walker
Harlequin Presents #2232
It is Morgan and Ellie's story, the tale of why young Ellie walked out on their passionate affair without a word, and why Morgan is drawn to seek her out. And whose is the baby he finds her with...
One of Kate's trademark strong, vibrant, passionate heroes, Morgan yet has a depth that escapes many writers of short contemporary romance. Ellie is vulnerable and yet resilient, easily engaging the sympathy of the reader, even without the able assistance of the baby Rosie, accurately described as, "this little charmer..."
I think it was the portrayal of Rosie that most impressed me about this book. Too often the baby in a romance is little more than a cipher, a plot device, consigned to the background too frequently to really connect with the reader. Kate manages to make Rosie a real person with character and depth, a remarkable achievement!
The story is gut-wrenchingly moving, yet stops short of pathos. The sexual tension is palpable, but always supported by heartfelt emotion.
Why is Morgan adamant he won't have children? Why did Ellie keep baby Rosie a secret? Read His Miracle Baby and you'll find out. What's more, you'll enjoy the journey.
And you WILL cry...
by Anna of Cumberland
Fantasy Lover
Sherrilyn Kenyon
St. Martin’s Paperbacks/ St. Martin’s Press
Paranormal
Fantasy Lover is the story of Julian of Macedon; a Spartan warrior who was cursed into a book and condemned into being a love slave for all eternity. He’s served scores of women. All they’re interested in are his abilities in the bedroom (which I have to say are considerable), until he meets Grace.
Grace is a sex therapist who has been hurt in the past and has given up on men until she’s sure she’s found the right one. So far she’s had no luck. All the men she knows are dogs.
Selena, her best friend, gives her Julian’s book as a birthday present. Selena is a fortune-teller on the streets of New Orleans. She believes in the magic of the curse. Grace is very practical in her thinking and believes Selena is full of it.
On the night of Grace’s birthday, under a full moon, Selena gets her drunk and persuades her to say the spell to release the cursed warrior. At first nothing happens...
What would you do if a very naked, extremely gorgeous man suddenly appeared in your living room? His only thought was pleasing you so well that he ruins you for all other men.
Well, you’ll have to read the book to find out. This book is a delightful mix of romance, humor, intrigue, magic and mythology. It is steamy, steamy, steamy and without a doubt one of the best books I’ve ever read. Even if paranormals weren’t your books of choice, I’d recommend you read this one.
The setting (sultry New Orleans) is perfect. The story is HOT. The characters are everlasting. In my opinion, this book will win major awards this year. They can’t keep it on the shelves.
And to think this is only the first in a long series. I’m breathless until the next one, which, unfortunately, isn’t until October.
Sherrilyn Kenyon is a marvel.
Too bad the max is only 5 beez because I give this one at least 20. (LOL, can you tell I HIGHLY recommend this one?)
Read it. I promise you won’t be sorry.
by Sharlene Apsega
How to Write A Romance for the New Market and Get Published
Kathryn Falk
Genesis Press, Incorporated
I just wanted to share a book that caught my attention while at the library. How to Write a Romance and Get It Published by Kathryn Falk. This book is soooooo good. It talks about everything from characters, plots, queries, synopsis, genres, style, usage, how to write "between the sheets", historical, teens, regency, fantasy, teaming up with other writers, how to promote, even a list of male romance writers and their pseudonyms (you're definately not alone, Mike). It tells what happens to your MS once it reaches the publisher and it also has a paragraph (or two) devoted to husbands titled "Advice to Husbands: Don't Bite the Hand That Writes" by George Small (Bertrice Small's hubby).
This book is sooo good. They use authors such as Jude Deveraux, Sara Orwig, interviews with Janet Dailey, Barbara Cartland,etc. There are so many authors used in this book-to help put it together, it would take a whole page to list them all.
I was looking for some material to help me work on my MS and this book was one of six. Since it was the biggest I thought I would skim over it first. WOW! I haven't looked at the other ones since. My dissappointment came when I found alot of pages were ripped out of the book-including the interview with Janet Dailey. I was sooo upset. I hit the internet to look for it but couldn't find it. It was then I realized the library book was an older version. (You guessed it) I ordered the new version. Hope it gets here soon. I CAN'T WAIT!!!!
by Georgia
Happenings!
Congratulations to...
Our very own WJM is an
Emily winner!
Kaitlyn Rice gets The Call from Harlequin American Romance!
Dreamen just finished her Red Dress manuscript!
Birthdays:
February birthdays: Ola, Mike, Rhonda, and Shell
March 3: Wax's birthday
March 4: Heather's birthday
March 4: Plot class continues, Gonnabeez chatroom, 10pm EST
March 5: Heather and K2 celebrate their first anniversary as eHarlequin hosts
Upcoming Contests
The Gonna-beez Contest
First I'd like to thank ALL those who participated, whether you wrote an entry, wrote a critique or just votes. Special thanks to Kate Walker for jumping in with not ONLY a signed copy of one of her books, but with detailed critiques for each of our contestants.
Despite Rae's continued insistance that "It's your baby, Mel," Rae did help me with reminders and comments. So hat's off to Rae!
And last, and certainly not least, Congratulations Janie Fox. YOU voted her your winner. And it was was close, which means you ALL did a wonderful job. There were nearly fifty votes, and everyone got at least one.
I was asked if I was going to do this again. (And thank to everyone for offering to help...I know who you are!) I think we should look for chapter 3 entries to be in by June 1st. After brainstorming with Janie and Rae, I'll be implementing some changes, such as shorter chapters and several subcategories. But if you want to be thinking about what you want to write, go read Janie's entry (#3) and plan your course of action! There's plenty of time... and I won't start hounding you until May, at least! Website should be updated after March 1st at http://www.geocities.com/gonnabeez.
Happy writing everyone!
~Mel
PRISM 2002 (Published Authors)
Futuristic, Fantasy and Paranormal Special Interest Chapter RWA
Entry Form and fee deadline: March 1, 2002
http://www.romance-ffp.com/prism_contest/prism_rules.htm
Troubadours' 7th Annual Short Story Contest
Deadline: March 1, 2002
http://home2.owc.net/~mason/Guidelines.html
The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
"It was a dark and stormy night..."
I kid you not...read the past year winning entries...what a hoot!
Deadline, what else but April 15th of each year.
http://www.bulwer-lytton.com
71st Annual Writer's Digest Writing Competition
Deadline May 15, 2002
http://writersdigest.com/catalog/contest_frame.html
2002 Backwaters Prize
Sponsored by Backwaters Press
Postmark Deadline June 4, 2002
http://www.thebackwaterspress.homestead.com/bwprize.html
A Little Test
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. I know the saying goes something like that. I guess I should have paid closer attention in science class when I was a kid, but I don't have to be a scientist to know what the results will be in a lot of what we face in our daily lives.
I've created a little test and I think most of you will do quite well. Be sure to see what your total means at the end of this column.
1. You have to go grocery shopping at a time when you look your
absolute worst. Thus, you will:
A.) Run into an old high school classmate.
B.) Run into your old high school crush.
C.) Run into your entire graduating class while they're taking a tour of the super market.
D.) All of the above.
2. You just washed and waxed your car and the weatherman calls for
sunny weather for the next five days. Thus, you will:
A.) Find the only street in town with a waterline break.
B.) Drive a child to a sporting event that has a dusty parking lot
where their little friends will put sticky hand prints and all manner
of "yuckies" all over your car.
C.) Be ground-zero for that flock of overeating pigeons that your
kindly neighbor has been feeding.
D.) All of the above.
3. You've managed to save enough for that dream vacation, big-screen
TV, computer, new carpet, or (fill in the blank) when:
A.) Your car requires some sort of emergency repair.
B.) One or more of your children need braces on their teeth.
C.) You receive a wedding invitation, need to buy a few birthday
gifts, and have four graduates in the family.
D.) All of the above.
4. You finally make an appointment to have that professional photo
done. On the morning of the photo-shoot you will:
A.) Spill something on the outfit you were planning to wear.
B.) Have the bad-hair day that makes Larry of the Three Stooges look like Mel Gibson.
C.) Awaken with a zit on your face that's the size of Vermont.
D.) All of the above.
5. You decide to tackle the week-long chore of cleaning out the
attic and have bags and boxes of junk in almost every room of your house when:
A.) You receive a surprise visit from that friend who always stays
for a weekend and brings her cute little dog.
B.) Your children decide to invite a few of their friends over to spend the night.
C.) You can't leave work and have to ask your landlord to let a repairman into your house.
D.) All of the above.
6. You give in to your children's pleas for a pet and bring home
a cute and cuddly living creature that is guaranteed to be clean,
housebroken and trouble-free. It will, of course:
A.) Chew, bite, break or claw something of value to you, but will
leave alone the stuff in your house that is junk.
B.) Lose so much fur that you will consider buying it Rogaine.
C.) Protest having to "potty" in a litter box by kicking half of
the stuff out onto the floor each time they do the deed.
D.) All of the above.
7. You enjoy gardening and are spending the day working in your
yard when that attractive person you recently met drives by your
house and stops for a chat. After your visitor drives off, you:
A.) Realize you're wearing your old, ugly grass-stained tennis shoes,
that you're dirty and sweaty and probably have leaves and grass stuck in your hair.
B.) Realize that you have a large chunk of oregano from that hoagie
that you had for lunch stuck between your front teeth ... you don't
even want to think about what your breath is like!
C.) Realize that the attractive person is never going to drive by your house again.
D.) All of the above.
If you answered any of the questions A, B, or C, you're living a charmed life. If you, like me, had mostly D answers, then welcome to the human race. You win! You're not alone. Go out into the world and smile. Just be sure to check your teeth for oregano first.
Deborah Martin is a member of the editorial staff of the Cumberland Times-News.
On Giving Birth to Adults by Jenn Carpman
A Procrastinator's Diary by Anna of Cumberland
and
Threads to Watch" ... a new monthly column featuring the best threads from
around the eHarlequin community. Hosts or Gonnabeez, please
email me with your favorite discussions.
The Buzz is looking for any of the following types of articles:
Thank you all for your help! Email submissions to gonnabeez@lycos.com by Friday, March 15th for next month's issue.
Thanks to everyone who contributed!
--Shell
